Thursday, April 9, 2015

A long awaited update

So I've decided to start blogging again. So much has happened since I lasted posted on here that I guess I should just start from there.

2011 - Nothing else of great importance happened. I released balloons for Declan's 2nd birthday and drove home to visit family in Cali for christmas.

2012 - At the beginning of the year I became temporary guardian of my friend's 3 year old. It helped me a great deal, but ended up putting a giant wedge between me and Bryan. In February I finally decided to do something about the physical abuse and called the cops. He went to jail for the night and we separated for about 2 months. Tried to reconcile and moved to Tacoma. I got my own apartment and started going to The Art Institute of Seattle for a degree in photography. Things were strained and we tried, but in August he left me for another woman. I spent the rest of the year being pen pals with a guy that I thought I could have a relationship with. Bryan filed for divorce in October. I had pretty much stopped eating when Bryan left so I ended up losing about 30 pounds.

2013 - 3 days before my 28th birthday, my divorce was finalized. So a friend took me out to celebrate. I'm still talking to my pen pal boyfriend, but he's not a big responder. I meet Cindy and shortly thereafter her super hot son Josh who happens to be about 2 years younger than I am. We start hanging out and one thing leads to another, since I'm not getting what I need emotionally from my pen pal I break things off. I start what I hoped was a purely physical relationship with Josh on his birthday, but he had other plans and I ended up falling head over heals for this guy. We move into a big house with him mom to save money and we start talking about the future a lot more.

2014 - We start really talking about kids and marriage. I decide to change my BC to another type of IUD so that I can start having AF come around for regular visits. The change didn't last long because I was in so much pain every month when the biznatch would come around. We decided to remove the IUD altogether in May and switch to good ole fashioned condoms. Well, since someone doesn't like them, we decided that we would be okay with the consequences and started what's called not trying not preventing. My Dr refers me to a high risk Ob clinic for preconception counseling. My periods are no where close to regular and in October when I see the OB she says she wants me to start seeing a fertility specialist right away. Why should getting pregnant be hard for me when the pregnancy itself is going to take a lot of my mental energy away? I wish the VA had the same views. The OB there refuses to do anything in regard to testing, refuses to blame anything but my weight, and says just do your OPKs and we'll see what happens in 6 months. GAH so I spend the rest of the year peeing on sticks every month hoping that it'll say I'm ovulating. No such luck. Oh and I'm bleeding in between periods now too. Great. My little brother moves up from Cali and starts living with me. My best friend finds out she's pregnant. I'm jealous, but happy for her.  I take Josh with me for Christmas vacation to meet my parents. They love him. My dad is so happy that I'm happy and he constantly reminds me. My mom threatens to kill Josh if he ever hurts me :) I love my family lol Josh gets a new job courtesy of my brother and is able to quit working at my school.

2015 - I turn 30. My period comes on my birthday and sticks around for 3 weeks. You would think that's enough to convince my Dr that something is wrong, but no. She wants 6 more months of OPKs. I haven't gotten a positive OPK since she said I needed to start using them in October! Fk that I go to my Dr for a second opinion only to find out my OB lied in my chart about my irregular periods so I go to my patient advocate. My OB acts surprised that I'm not okay with her course of treatment. She thinks I just want clomid, I mean I do, but there are plenty of other things she can do before getting to that point. I beg, plead, scream, cry and finally she says ok to an HSG. I wait about 2-3 weeks before getting the OK to go to UW, well UW doesn't take outside patients, my OB refuses to transfer my care so I have to look for another clinic. Another 2 weeks go by before I find out I can go to the clinic I choose, call to make an apt and they don't take VA insurance, but I'm offered the ability to pay the $1k for the test out of pocket. Yeah No. So I now have to wait for the VA to send me somewhere. A few more weeks go by, I call the director of the hospital to see about getting my lack of care fixed. I get contacted again by my patient advocate who's upset I'm not pregnant yet and that my OB is a jerk. I now have 7 higher up Dr's monitoring my care. Suddenly I get a call allowing me to make an apt with a clinic in Tacoma that does the HSG. I call and make an apt FINALLY, but I can't have it done until 3-5 days after AF leaves. Oh and No sex started CD 1. Great.

So here we are AF came and left early and my HSG is tomorrow. I'm nervous as hell and I am hoping and praying that this is the thing that fixes my seemingly broken eggs. I need this to work.

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