Lilypie - Memorial

Lilypie - Memorial

Lilypie - Trying to Conceive

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Declan Bear

I recently discovered a place that makes custom teddy bears that are the same weight of your baby. They're made for those who have experienced loss. So that we finally have something to hold onto. I ordered mine last week and my Declan bear got here yesterday. I was so excited when the box arrived. I opened the box with the same anticipation as a kid on Christmas and as soon as I got him in my arms I burst into tears. I immediately was thrown back into that hospital room holding my handsome boy. 7 pounds 10.2 ounces. I missed holding him so much. I forgot what it felt like and now I have something to snuggle whenever I want.

Although my bear will never replace what I lost, but just having him has been so very helpful. I just can't put him down. I held him all day while I watched tv and yes I even slept with him. It's the best I've slept in a really long time.

I'm so very glad that I got my Declan Bear and I am sad that the creator of Alexa Bears has suffered the same fate that I had with my little boy, but I am so very thankful for her willingness to make these bears. Without her I wouldn't have been able to hold my darling boy in my arms one more time. Without her I would only be able to hold him in my memory. I have always felt so guilty for not holding Declan longer than I did and now I can feel like I am holding him again. <3

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