Thursday, July 7, 2011


It may be strange to have numberous posts in the same day, but I'm a rebbel HAHA I do as I please, most of the time.

Since Declan died Bryan and I have had issues with grieving. We didn't agree with each other's method for a long time, and it has caused a lot of issues. I think he drinks too much, he thinks I'm too emotional and can't let go. Finally we have come to terms with one another, but it took over a year and a half after Declan's death to figure it all out. I'm still stuck in the middle of him and my family, but I refuse to pick sides. Sooner or later they are either going to have to duke it out or talk it out, either way I'm not giving up on either side.

Before we moved from San Diego to Washington I would visit Declan's grave often. My friend Emma and I would sometimes have lunch with him and we would sit and reminice on all the hilarious grief Declan would give me when I was doing something he didn't like. I'm sad we now live so far away from one another, she was the first person I told about my pregnancy. I ran across the little lane sparating our apartments and banged on her door so hard I probably could have broken it down. When she asked what was wrong I told her I was pregnant and we both preceded to scream and hug and jump on her front porch.

Sadly I've moved and can no longer visit Declan's grave, but I talk to him often and that brings me solace. But I believe that God has a plan and I have made the most wonderful friends since moving here. Some even have a matching pair of the ugly shoes. I have truly been blessed with such a support system.

To all my ladies, I may have only known some of you a few months, but I love you all. Thank you for being my friends.

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