So yesterday was a special day for Bereaved Mother's, but I bet no one noticed. It's not a trending topic on Facebook, it's not something that Hallmark will make a card for, and it's not something the retail community will make ads about. Bereaved Mother's day marks a bittersweet day for angel mommies everywhere. It's a day that recognizes us as mothers, a day that unites us in our never ending grief, but it's a day I know we'd all rather not be a part of because it means our babies aren't here to celebrate Mother's Day.
We're not going to get the cards, flowers, candy, or clumsy handmade gifts. My son won't be bringing me breakfast in bed and spilling juice everywhere. Mother's Day will likely pass without me being told Happy Mother's Day, because most people do not recognize that I am a mother even though my little Saint isn't here.
It's a painful day for me to get through. I send my love to my moms (cause I've got 3) and usually try to send them cards or big chocolate dipped strawberries (flowers die, strawberries are nom). Don't get my wrong, I LOVE my moms, I love they have a day to relax and be recognized for their hard work, but it's a sucky day for the childless.
Mother's Day is hard for me because I end up thinking about all the things that I could be getting and asking myself what would Declan get me? Would I have a day full of snuggles and movies, would we go to a fancy dinner, or picnic in the park? Would he give me a handmade gift or would he find something special in the student store? It's always a heartbreaking day for me. I will never stop wondering what my life would be like if he were still here.
So to recognize our grief, our loss, and remember us for being mother's International Bereaved Mother's Day has been growing in popularity. Though I feel, not for the right reason. Since 1 in 4 women will join our ranks as the bereaved, our special Mother's Day isn't growing in popularity because someone decided to recognize us, it's because there are many of us that are refusing to remain silent and letting others know it's okay to be proud of your Angel Mommy status. You're still a mommy if your child is in heaven instead of in your arms.
As an angel mommy we'll receive a different kind of gift that doesn't only come to us on Mother's Day. Our angels send us their love as the rain on our cheeks, the breeze through our hair, the sun on our skin, and the little critters that seem to stop and say hello. Declan likes to send me butterflies <3
So to all the bereaved mommies out there I'm here to tell you that your babies are not lost, they are here, always surrounding us in their love.
I wish us all a loving Bereaved Mother's Day and a gentle Happy Mother's Day.